Introducing your daughter to cosmetics

Uh oh, Mom. Your daughter came home from school with the magic words, "Everybody else is wearing makeup." She's ready to jump face first into the wide and ostentatious world of cosmetics whether you are ready for it or not.

Or you might have an almost-grown daughter who could benefit from a little primping and polishing but has never tried makeup and doesn't know where to safely begin. This post is for you, too.

If you've read my blog profile, you may be asking what business I have offering advice about raising your daughter. Ha. None. But here's a little caveat for you skeptics out there: I've been wearing makeup and researching my love-hate relationship with it since I was about 10 years old so, barring a cosmetology degree which I wish I had, my experience with the beauty industry is fully at your disposal.

Before we go any further, let me just say this: Everyone at your daughter's school is NOT wearing makeup. In fact, the public junior and senior high schools I attended were populated by a majority of girls who felt that makeup was trashy and overrated. So, whether or not you're eager to jump on the bandwagon, don't take Janie's word for it that she's the ONLY ONE with a clean face. You've probably seen enough of her friends to assess reality.

My relationship with makeup began at the onset of pre-adolescent acne. In 4th and 5th grades I had enough zits to necessitate my very own tube of concealer. Enter CoverGirl.

My old friend, Fair 115.

Yep, I was the little girl with the orange-rimmed pimples from applying too much concealer. In fact, 20 years later I'm still that girl some days (hello, adult acne). If you and/or your daughter has acne, then you just come here and let me give you a big hug cuz that makes us soul sisters. Acne may drag you kicking and screaming to the cosmetics aisle at Target where you will spend half an hour agonizing between the foundation color choices "Shell" and "Sand" while a flock of porcelain-skinned youngsters giggle over the cream eyeshadows display. Please try not to hate them; they know not what they do.

It's time to introduce the old adage LESS IS MORE. We've all seen the tween girls with their heavy black eyeliner, purple shadow, and glitter lip gloss. They think that their sophistication increases with the volume of product applied. They think it makes them look older, cooler, and more attractive. And let's face it, ladies, makeup isn't just for impressing cute boys; we're putting on our "thang" to establish our rank among other females. Makeup has allowed women to move their way up the pecking order for almost a century. I'm all for maximizing the assets, but most tweens and teens are not familiar with the best "maximization" methods. With that in mind, let's check out my list of makeup BFFs that will help Janie feel beautiful and mature without all that ice capades drama.

GIRL'S BFF #1: CONCEALER

"So where do we start?" you may ask. First of all, if Janie is struggling with blemishes - whether it's acne, rosacea, psoriasis, or another skin condition - DO start with a concealer or foundation. Especially during those tween years you don't want her looking made-up yet, but you do want to give her the confidence to get through her day. Look for oil-free, full-coverage products in the lightest shades possible. When in doubt, choose the lighter shade. I've been a proponent of Mary Kay liquid concealer for many years. The coverage is excellent and a little goes a long way. They used to sell it in little squeeze tubes; now it comes in cylindrical tubes with an applicator wand. Hopefully the product itself is the same.

The current packaging for Mary Kay concealer.

Please, for the love of Mary Kay, PLEASE apply concealer with a brush!!! I applied with my fingertip for probably 15 years or more, and when I was finally introduced to the concealer brush I just felt dirty and ashamed of all those wasted years. It takes a little practice, but the coverage is much much better...and cleaner. The less your hands touch your face the better!

GIRL'S BFF #2: LIP GLOSS

Mom, if you could talk Janie into choosing just one product, lip gloss would be your easiest sell. She gets the shine and color drama she's looking for, and you get a fairly tame result without much fuss. Lip gloss is easy to apply, comes in a billion colors, and is kind to your wallet. Maybe you're feeling more conservative and want to start small. That's great! Look for tinted lip balms, like the stuff by Burt's Bees. Lots of moisture, a hint of color, warm fuzzies for all.

Coral hues, like this Zinnia balm, look the most natural. Many people make the mistake of thinking that light pinks are least noticeable, but they often give a candied appearance to the lips, whereas coral is closer to natural skin tone.

GIRL'S BFF #3: CLEAR MASCARA

Thaaat's right, my friends: mascara does not have to be black and clumpy and make your daughter's eyelashes look like spiders. Clear gel mascara was created to add definition to lashes (also for taming squirrelly eyebrows!) and that is EXACTLY what is called for here. Janie will get loads of practice applying and handling the mascara brush without the unfortunate arachnidan side effects.

Maybelline Great Lash, the rock of mascaras. Always a good option.

GIRL'S BFF #4: BLUSH (ROUGE)

Whatever you decide to call it, a little pop of color on the apples of the cheeks would not go amiss. Carmindy, makeup artist on TLC's What Not To Wear, says a healthy layer of blush makes you look healthy and youthful. Start with a pressed powder product (say that five times fast!), not too dark, and apply sparingly with a big fluffy brush. DON'T use those puny brushes that come with the blush - they're too small and square to work properly. If you don't know where to put the color, make a fake, tight-lipped smile so that the round muscles in your cheeks stand out; those are the "apples." Now, here's my method for application:

1. Swirl your brush in small circles across the surface of the blush.
2. Tap the brush very lightly against the back of your hand to get rid of any excess powder.
3. Lightly dust the blush on the apples of your cheeks in a side-to-side or circular motion, starting in the center and blending slightly outwards.
4. Repeat as needed to achieve desired amount of color. Remember, you can always add color, but it's hard to remove it once it's there.

I think a future post may be in order to discuss the psychological complications that come with adolescence and makeup wearing. For many, many parents this is an uphill battle that they feel they may have lost before it even started. Don't be too discouraged if this is you. Your daughter's cosmetic obsession is pretty trivial compared to all the other things she (and you) will be up against. 

Good luck with that, Mom. While you're shopping for lip gloss and menstrual pads, I'll be lying under my toilet scrubbing four dudes' worth of pee off the bottom of the tank.